When Emotions Throw a Tantrum

Sometimes emotions throw a tantrum. For example, we might feel an emotion so strong that we scream, cry intensely, hurt ourselves physically, eat something that's not good for us, or damage close relationships... It can be overwhelming, uncomfortable, and even frightening.

I am grateful to these strong, unregulated emotions. They came to tell about a need that requires visibility and action. When we look together and provide that visibility, the drama will subside. When we name the need and give it space, gradually the response patterns will change and there will be no need for the emotional tantrum. There will be care and healing. There will be new cognitive flexibility in how we see and experience things, and then the space will open wide, with more room to breathe.

Essentially, you are okay exactly as you are. You simply have parts that are working too hard. That's how you learned to protect yourself best — it makes so much sense that you'd continue with a strategy that mostly worked over the years. The thing is, when they work too hard, they cause pain and interfere with life. It's possible to help there and to stop that harm. To give you care and to support you in reaching greater regulation.